Shed can be quite a grumpy person. On the thankfully rare occasions that we need to get in touch with him, the job of making the call is always given to the work experience bod. It’s a rite of passage for any aspiring PH internetter, like being sent out for a can of tartan paint, a left-handed screwdriver or a bucket of steam.
So when Shed told us he was going to be doing a Volvo V70 T4 this week, someone at PH thought it would be fun to get the workie to call him and ask what the difference was between a V70 T4 and a T5. Sure enough this produced the bellowed response of ‘(expletive deleted) ONE!’, followed by the sound of a Bakelite telephone being slammed down on its cradle and a perplexed expression on the poor lad’s fizzog.
A more polite answer would have been ‘not much’. The T5 wasn’t quite the V70 equivalent of the mad old 850 T-5R but it was the nearest thing to the old-school hardman Volvo wagon. Its heavily boosted 2.3 inline five gave you 250hp at 5,200rpm, 243lb ft from 2,400-5,200rpm, 0-62mph in 7.1 seconds (if you could control the front wheel scrabble), 155mph, 25-30mpg at a gentle cruise, 10mpg in normal use, and a distinctive warble. If your tastes were more Terence Conran than Terry-Thomas there was an all-wheel drive V70R. This was actually more powerful than the T5. It had the same 2.4 inline turbo five engine as this 2.4 T but it was blown to 265hp/258ft lb, giving it a 0-62mph time of 7.4sec and a distinctive warble. The lower-pressure engine of today’s T4 had 200hp at 5,100rpm, 199lb ft from 1,600 to 5,000rpm, a 0-62 time of 8.5sec, 137mph, 28mpg combined, and a distinctive warble.
Sorry about all the numbers, all of which are for the 5-speed manual versions. In the case of our T4 shed the manual box helped to make it 15kg lighter and, as a partial consequence of that, 0.4sec quicker through the 0-62mph run than the smooth but loungey 4-speed auto.
This particular T4 passed its last MOT test in January this year with half a dozen advisories covering worn/cut front tyres (looks like they might have been replaced since then), light corrosion to the rear anti-roll bar and a bit of wear to one rear brake and suspension arm bush. Nothing earth shattering there, or in the 164,000 mileage. That sort of number might frighten you off in something more highly strung, but these old Volvos are built to last and the 2.4 motor is strong.
They’re comfy too. Unless you have particularly nice furniture at home you’ll probably find that the V70’s seats are superior. Broadening that out a bit, instead of the more normal pillowy leather interior our Shed has an interesting mix of velour and gaffer tape. We’ll talk more on that in a minute. Generic V70 problems you might experience include broken window regulators (not cheap at £200 a go), noisy wipers, noisy power steering, non-sensing throttle position sensors, non-braking rear brakes and/or brake boosters, and overheating cooling fans. Maybe Volvo should have put a cooling fan on the cooling fan. The turning circle is great in the dimensional sense of that word. It’s fine as long as you’re in Tiananmen Square or on the main runway at Terminal 1. Anything smaller than that and you’ll be cursing as hard as Shed.
Look at the good stuff, though. Apart from the characterful engine and plush seating the V70 has a timeless elegance and a blend of comfort, quality and utility that, in Shed’s opinion anyway, is beaten only by the solution provided by Mercedes-Benz in their S124 wagon of the pre-1996 glory days.
So, if you buy this V70, what might you be in for financially on top of the reasonable sounding £1295 asking price? We’re told that there’s a service history, though not what sort, full, partial or scanty. The V70’s schedule for timing belt replacement was measured by the decade rather than in the usual five-year blocks favoured by today’s automotive accountants, so we’re going to assume that doesn’t need doing. On the cosmetics, if you don’t mind having a slightly sweaty posterior a spongey PU ‘leather’ seat cover will cost you under £15. A new (old) rear door card will be between £25 and £40. A replacement leather gaiter for the handbrake will be £10-£20. Another one for the gearstick will be £10. The LCD display has gone splodgy. This is a common ailment and secondhand replacements for this vintage of V70 aren’t quite as plentiful as they are for the later models. Predictably Shed has one on his shelf that he’ll want £50 for, or more if he thinks you’re minted, but don’t expect him to give you any codes for that.
So, in the worst-case scenario you’ll be looking at maybe £150 on top of the £1,295 to get it up to a kind of snuff. We’d normally give you the total sum at this point, but adding up is another job for the workie and he’s out just now looking for a metric adjustable spanner and a bottle of indicator fluid.
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